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[Intro]
---------------------
D5
Alrighty, then
Picture this if you will
[Verse 1]
---------------------
D5
Ten to two AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes
In my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area fifty one
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy
When just then a flaming stealth banana split the sky
Like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime
And stopping right at my Birkenstocks
And me yelping, "holy fucking shit!"
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Holy fucking shit!
[Verse 2]
---------------------
D5
Then the XFile being
Looking like some kind of bluegreen Jackie Chan
With Isabella Rossellini lips, and breath that reeked of
Vanilla Chig Champa
Did a slowmo Matrix descent
Outta the butt end of the banana vessel
And hovered above my bugeyes, my gaping jaw
And my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip
And all I could think was
"I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice
That I pissed my fuckin' pants"
[Verse 3]
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D5 C5 G5 Bb5 D5 C5 G5
So light in his way, like an apparition, that
Bb5
He had me crying out
D5
"Fuck me, it's gotta be
The Deadhead Chemistry
The blotter got right on top of me
D5
Got me seein' Emotherfuckin'T!"
[Verse 4]
---------------------
D5
And after calming me down
With some orange slices
And some fetal spooning
E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose
He said, "You are the chosen one
The one who will deliver the message
A message of hope for those who choose to hear it
And a warning for those who do not"
Me, the chosen one
They chose me
D5
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school
[Bridge (1)]
---------------------
D5
You'd better
You'd better
You'd better
You'd better listen
[Break (1)]
---------------------
D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5
D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5
D5 | F5 | D5 | F5
[Verse 5]
---------------------
D5 F5 D5 F5
Then he looked right through me
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5
With somniferous almond eyes
F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
Don't even know what that means
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5
Must remember to write it down This is so real
F5
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
Like the time Dave floated away
D5 F5 D5 F5
See, my heart is pounding
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
'Cause this shit never happens to me
D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5
D5 F5 D5 F5
I can't breathe right now!
[Verse 6]
---------------------
D5 F5 D5 F5
It was so real
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5
Like I woke up in Wonderland
F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
All sorta terrifying
D5 F5 D5 F5
I don't wanna be all alone
D5 F5 D5 F5
While I tell this story
D5 F5 D5
And can anyone tell me why
F5 D5 F5
You all sound like Peanuts parents?
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5 D5
Will I ever be coming down? This is so real
F5
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
Finally, it's my lucky day
D5 F5 D5 F5
See, my heart is racing
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
'Cause this shit never happens to me
D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5
I can't breathe right now
[Verse 7]
---------------------
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
You believe me, don't you?
D5 F5 D5 F5
Please believe what I've just said!
D5 F5
See the Dead ain't touring
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
And this wasn't all in my head
D5 F5
See, they took me by the hand
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
And invited me right in
D5 F5 D5 F5
Then they showed me something
D5 F5 D5 F5 D5 F5
I don't even know where to begin
D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5
[Break (2)]
---------------------
D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5 | D5 | F5
D5
[Chorus (1)]
---------------------
D5
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
[Interlude]
---------------------
D5 | Bb5 | D5 | Bb5
A5 | Bb5 | C5 | G5 | A5 | Bb5 | C5 | G5
A5 | Bb5 | C5 | G5 | A5 | Bb5
C5 | G5
[Solo]
---------------------
G5
[Break (3)]
---------------------
D5 | C5 | G5 | Bb5
D5 | C5 | G5 | Bb5
D5 | C5 | G5 | Bb5
D5 | C5 | G5 | Bb5
[Bridge (2)]
---------------------
D5 C5 G5 Bb5
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position
D5 C5 G5 Bb5
Such a heavy burden now to be the one
D5 C5 G5 Bb5
Born to bear and bring to all the details of our ending
D5 C5 G5
To write it down for all the world to see
Bb5 D5 C5 G5
But I forgot my pen
Bb5 D5 C5 G5
Shit the bed again
Bb5
Typical
[Chorus (2)]
---------------------
D5
Strapped down to my bed
Feet cold and eyes red
I'm out of my head
Am I alive? Am I dead?
Sunkist and Sudafed
Gyroscopes and infrared
Won't help, I'm brain dead
Can't remember what they said
God damn, shit the bed
[Verse 8]
---------------------
G5
I can't remember what they said to me
Bb5 C5 G5 Bb5 C5 G5
Can't remember what they said to make me out to be the hero
Bb5 C5 G5
Can't remember what they said
Bb5 C5 G5
Bob help me!
Bb5 C5 G5
Can't remember what they said
Bb5 | C5 | G5 | D5
[Outro]
---------------------
D5
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
Don't know, won't know
God damn, shit the bed
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